Chocolate or vanilla? Shirt or sweater? Freeway or back roads? We make decisions constantly on a day to day basis. The smaller decisions of what to eat, how to dress, or how to get to work can be relatively easy or stress-free. However, for some South Asians indecisiveness is an issue that can be debilitating. From taking half an hour to choose what shoes to wear or avoiding talking to your spouse about whether to have children, some South Asians experience significant anxiety when it comes to making certain types of decisions.
The anxiety that builds up about making a decision – no matter how big or small – can cause you to feel exhausted and overwhelmed. This often results in procrastination and if a deadline for making the decision arises, you are more likely to make a bad or compulsive decisions which then increases your anxiety.
Most South Asians become indecisive because they have been taught to achieve perfection. When it comes time to making a decision, these perfectionistic tendencies increase all-or-nothing thinking. Instead of looking at the entire picture including the shades of gray, the situation seems black and white and you begin to feel trapped in a corner with few choices. This all-or-nothing thinking also places a great deal of stress on you which increases you anxiety and your desire to make the stress go away as quickly as possible.
In addition, perfectionistic tendencies cause many South Asians to feel as if they require certainty or 100% guarantees. They tend to believe that they should always know exactly what they want and that decisions cannot be made until that is 100% clear. South Asians also tend to look for immediate proof that the decision is the right one and that there is only one right decision in the scenario.
Unfortunately, real life is not that straightforward, simple or clear cut. Most of the decisions we have to make are nuanced and can have many correct solutions. By maintaining that every decision has to be perfect and correct, South Asians set themselves up for being disappointed and regretting their decisions more often than they actually make decisions. This can be the precursor for lowering self-esteem and confidence which can further negatively impact future decisions.
In the following article, we will provide you with some tips on how to work around the anxieties that come with making decisions.
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