Breaking the Cycle of Fighting

Most couples who fight in an unhealthy manner have a common pattern in their arguments. One person says something critical which is responded to with contempt and resentment. This incites defensiveness in the original partner who continues to attack causing the second partner to mentally check out of the conversation. …

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South Asian Men Can be Victims of Abuse

Richa  had reached her limit. Her youngest daughter, who was 2 years old, was sick with the flu, her son who was 6 had chicken pox and her 8 year old daughter needed supplies for an art project, which she forgot to pick up. With two young children crying and …

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South Asian Couples: What is Your Conflict Resolution Style?

Numerous research studies have identified three basic conflict management styles that are commonly seen in couples: avoidant, volatile and validating. Most important for the satisfaction and health of the relationship is having a matching conflict management style with your partner. That way, both of you have the same expectations of …

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South Asian Relationship: Couples Counseling for Failing Marriage

This is part 2 of a 3 part series. For Part 1, please click here and for Part 3, click here. It was a typical evening at Shikha and Nirav’s house. Shikha, who comes home from work earlier, had made dinner and set the table. “Hi,” said Nirav quietly as …

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Flooding: A Predictor of Unhealthy South Asian Relationships

You feel overwhelmed, defenseless, powerless and maybe even at a loss for words. Your heart is pounding as if you are being attacked by a wild animal, your hands become sweaty and your breath increases. Your body is “flooded” with neurotransmitters, adrenaline and cortisol. These are all symptoms of your …

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Effects of Marital Conflict on Children

Unhealthy relationships and marriages not only have significant negative consequences for each member of the couple, but also have a significant impact on their children. Research conducted at the University of Rochester and University of Notre Dame by Patrick Davies and colleagues concluded that when children observe hostility, anger, and …

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The Story of a South Asian Couple: Repeated Patterns

Sagar and Purvi have been married for 2 years and have been experiencing significant marital strain. As with any couple, common patterns for arguments and marital stress emerged early on in their relationship. They realized this one day when they found themselves engaged in the same fight for what seemed …

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The Story of A South Asian Couple: the background

This is an article in a series of articles illustrating relationship issues of a fictional South Asian couple and the steps that they took to have a a happier, healthier relationship. These articles are meant to provide details examples of how South Asian couples can help themselves have healthier relationships. …

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