Wrapped in a beautiful red sari, adorned with jewelry from head to toe, Shabnam looked at herself in the mirror on her wedding day with mixed emotions. She was so thrilled that her wedding day had finally come.
She fondly remembered how they met. It was the week before finals during her junior year in college. She was walking out of the library with an arm load of books and a drink in her hand. She could barely see over the books and didn’t notice the biker coming up on her right. He was rushing to meet someone at the library and was late. He didn’t notice this girl stumbling while trying to balance her heavy load. They crashed. She spilled her iced latte on him. Their eyes met. It was very Bollywood.
“What are you smiling about?” her older sister Kavita teased as she entered the bridal suite. Shabnam just shook her head and proceeded to tighten her earrings in an effort to avoid conversation.
“You’re so cute! Such a blushing bride. You and Chetan are going to be happy forever!” Kavita sang as she left the room.
The smile had long left Shabnam’s lips. Could they be happy together? She couldn’t believe that she was questioning this on her wedding day but she couldn’t shake the heavy feeling she had been carrying with her all week.
The weekend before the wedding, when both she and Chetan were under a lot of stress to do final arrangements for their big day, he came over to her apartment to discuss last minute wedding details. He was in a bad mood, which she had become used to. Anytime he felt stressed he would pout or become irritable. As soon as he walked in the door she knew he was in one of those moods.
“Ok let’s get some of the wedding stuff out of the way so we can relax afterwards for a bit before my cousins come over,” she suggested. He was not engaging with her so she continued to talk.
“The florist is going to call any minute and we have to finalize —“, she began. But Chetan interrupted her.
“Can you just let go of the wedding for one second?” he said, his brows furrowed. “I just want to talk about anything but the wedding.”
“Ok,” she said slowly, “but there are some things we have to finalize today.”
“I don’t care ok!” he yelled. She remembered back to all the times during finals in college when he was stressed and would yell at her. She always believed that it was the stress talking and the same thing was happening now. Her friends tried to tell her otherwise, saying they were concerned about his anger issues but what did they know? No one knew Chetan like she did.
“Stop yelling at me,” she said quietly. She watched as his chest rose and fell as he breathed angrily. She noticed her body tighten as she braced herself for his anger.
“I don’t care about this stupid wedding!” he screamed. “This wedding is for your stupid, demanding parents and for you. You’re the most inflexible and selfish bride that I know of. Everything’s about these details that don’t matter but you can’t let it go! You’re obsessed!” he yelled. “And if it’s all for you, why do I have to deal with this stress?”
His words felt like daggers, hurting her with everything he said. She didn’t fight back because she didn’t want to provoke him. She was also beginning to feel scared of him. His anger became bigger than he was and she felt small and alone.
“I don’t want to talk about this useless wedding anymore!” he barked, his voice reverberating against the bare walls of her apartment.
Shabnam had shrunken into the corner of her sofa. She braced herself for the continuous name-calling and the berating remarks that were about to come. This was a pattern she had become used to when he was stressed and angry.
Her phone rang and it was the florist. She knew she had to answer so she reached for the phone. “Don’t you dare touch that phone,” Chetan said with rage in his voice.
Her voice shaking, Shabnam said, “It’s the florist. I’ll just tell her I’ll call her back.” She reached for the phone and quickly walked to the other side of the room.
“Did you not hear me?” Chetan screamed as he proceeded to call her some derogatory names. Just as Shabnam answered her cell phone, Chetan grabbed his cell phone and threw it at her, hitting her in the leg. She dropped her cell phone out of shock and from the pain. She burst into tears as she felt helpless and scared. She remembered about a year ago when he threw his remote control toward her, intentionally missing her. He was angry that she had come late for dinner that night. She never thought he’d actually hit her though. And now here they were in the middle of her apartment, Shabnam with a large bruise on her leg and Chetan suddenly trying to apologize.
“I’m so sorry Shabby Bear,” he said sweetly walking toward her. “Are you ok? I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He looked sad but she didn’t believe him. She was still sobbing and trying to move away from him. “I’m so sorry”
“Get away from me!” she yelled in between her sobs.
“Please forgive me, Shabby Bear. Please don’t be scared of me,” he said crying. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Shabnam was caught off guard. Maybe he was truly sorry. Maybe this really was a mistake. She was so confused. If he meant to hurt her, he wouldn’t feel so bad about it, she told herself. Her mind was rushing in a thousand directions and without realizing it, she allowed him to help her up and they iced her leg to reduce the bruising.
He hugged her careful and apologized continuously. “If you had just listened to me and not answered the phone this wouldn’t have happened. I just want to spend time with you without dealing with weddings. I just want to spend time with my fiancee. Isn’t that ok?” Maybe he was right, she thought. Asking to spend time with me is not a bad thing. Maybe she should have just listened, she convinced herself. She could have prevented this from happening. This was just a mistake, she told herself every day since that incident.
Sitting in front of the mirror, looking at herself on what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, she reached down to her leg and felt the bruise that had begun to heal. “It was a mistake,” she told herself out loud.
“Everyone is here!” squealed Kavita as she and her cousins came to get Shabnam. “It’s time for the beautiful bride to make her way down!”
Shabnam took one last look at herself in the mirror and hated what she saw: a gorgeous bride, scared about what she was going to do.
Domestic abuse is a serious problem in the South Asian community. 
Physical abuse often begins with emotional abuse and escalates to physically hurting the partner. Learn the signs of domestic abuse. If you or someone you know might be the victim of physical abuse, please contact a domestic abuse agency to help you safely remove yourself from the harmful situation.
No one deserves to feel scared or be hurt in their relationships.
We would love your thoughts on this article. Please leave your comments below.