Preeti knew this day would come for two weeks. She had marked it on her calendar and had been counting down the days. As it got closer, she noticed that her stomach became upset for most of the day, her heart was racing and she was having difficulty falling asleep. She recognized these signs as anxiety and did her best to calm herself down.
Exercising every day, meditating before bed and even journaling only temporarily eased her anxiety. One evening, her friend was visiting and asked why Preeti looked so stressed. “I’m getting my blood test results back in a few days and I’m so nervous,” Preeti said.
“Are you sick? Is everything ok?” Ashiana asked
“Yes it was my yearly physical. Just standard tests,” Preeti explained. “But I hate going to the doctor and the wait for test results is excruciating. I know nothing is wrong but I’m so afraid something will be that I can’t sleep for days before every single time.”
“I understand,” said Ashiana empathically. “I’m that way about public speaking. When I know I have a presentation coming up, I can’t focus on anything for at least a week before. I turn into a basket case and the presentation becomes this monster that I can’t get away from.”
Preeti agreed emphatically. That’s how she felt about the blood test. Her life had become consumed by it. Any free moment she had, all she would think about is walking into the doctor’s office, her heart pounding out of her chest, feeling like she is going to faint from anxiety.
When people become anxious, often the situation becomes larger than life in their minds. This adds to the feelings of being overwhelmed and creates a vicious circle that people can’t get out of. When the situation feels too large and too out of control, some South Asians begin to demonstrate avoidant behavior. They may behave in ways that deny the reality of the impending situation. For example, Ashiana may procrastinate and not work on her presentation in efforts to deny that the public speaking engagement is not actually coming up as soon as she fears. Other South Asians will ruminate on the upcoming situation resulting in a poorer quality of life because of the increased anxiety from constantly thinking about the stressor.
If exercising, eating healthy and sleeping well are not helping ease your anxiety Here are some tips to change your thinking that might help when an overwhelmingly stressful situation is awaiting you:
1) Identify your worst case scenario. Sometimes, the anxiety and fear comes from not knowing what to expect. Identify what the worst situation could be. For example, Preeti’s worst case is finding out that she has cancer. By acknowledging that, she is essentially putting boundaries in her mind as to the worst case situation. This helps create a sensation of more control and predictability which can ease anxiety.
2) Visualize your response. Close your eyes and imagine the best case and worst case scenarios happening. Picture all of the details of the reality including what the location looks like, where you will be sitting or standing and where other people will be as well. In each scenario, just as you would in virtual reality, imagine your responses. Identify how you might feel, what you would want to say and how you might behave. These visualizations also providesa concreteness and predictability that is usually missing in overwhelming situations, easing anxiety.
3) Plan something for after. For situations that cause extreme anxiety or feelings of overwhelm, we tend to forget that other parts of our life exist. Think about what you are doing after the event. For example, after her doctor’s appointment Preeti will return to her classes at her university. The next day is her best friend’s birthday party and that weekend she is going to return home to celebrate her parents’ 30th anniversary. Reminding yourself that the rest of your life does exist can help the anxiety provoking situation seem smaller and more approachable. It can also remind you that this one situation does not define you and there are many other things going on in your life that are just as important.
4) Think of similar situations. Often when we are overwhelmed we tend to imagine the upcoming stressor as a unique situation different from all others. In fact, rarely is this case. Think of a time when you were overwhelmed in the past and how you managed. Sometimes it helps to remember what you did to lower your anxiety or for others, it helps to remind yourself that you survived it. For example, Preeti can think about the last several years when she had a physical and was anxious about test results. Every time, she left the doctor’s appointment in one piece regardless of what results had come in.
5) Identify positive personal qualities. Similar to the tip above, reminding yourself of qualities you have that help you get through difficult situations can help reduce the anxiety when you are overwhelmed. Whether it is in a similar situation or not, personal qualities are always with you regardless of what you are going through.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Please leave your comments below.