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“We are so proud of Manasi,” her mother, Savita bragged to her friends during lunch. “She got some of the highest marks of her class on her PSATs and is doing very well on her practice SAT tests. And this is all while she’s taking 4 AP classes!”
Savita was like most South Asian parents who prided herself on her child’s academic successes. Manasi was a very intelligent girl who had shown promise and impressive skills from a young age. Savita had been a very hands on mother, trying to maximize Manasi’s potential by encouraging her to try different activities and push herself in classes that interested her.
Savita and Vinod were very open about their children’s future. They did not try to push them to become doctors or lawyers but instead paid attention to each of their individual traits and skill sets. Most of Manasi’s friends were jealous of her parents’ open mindedness regarding Manasi’s future major and career.
While Manasi and Savita were very close, the one topic that was off limits was dating. Her parents had made it very clear to Manasi that she was not to date until she was almost finished with college and that they would be very upset with her if she dated any earlier than that.
“They want me to start dating when I’m 21 and get married by the time I’m 25. Seriously?” Manasi complained to her friend after that conversation.
The thing that Savita and Vinod did not realize is that just because they threatened their children to not date did not mean they were going to listen. With the amount of pressure high schoolers feel to date as well as their interest in exploring this new stage of life, Manasi’s friends had started dating in 10th grade. Savita and Vinod never knew that while Manasi was doing extremely well in school, she was also dating an Indian boy named Aadit.
Since neither of them could drive or had told their parents “dates” included eating lunch alone together at school, hanging out with a group of friends and lots of time on the phone. They began dating in September and Manasi was very happy. Even Savita noticed and made a comment. “You have such a smile on your face all the time. What’s going on?” she asked.
Manasi was worried her mom could sense that she was dating but quickly Savita followd up her question with, “Did you get another high grade on an exam and you’re hiding it from us?” she smiled. Manasi breathed a sigh of relief. She never realized how easy it would be to hide this relationship.
Every night Manasi and Aadit would talk on the phone. One night, soon after Halloween, he mentioned to Manasi, “I love it when you wear yellow. It looks so nice on you!” That weekend Manasi went shopping with her best friend and made sure to buy a few yellow tops. Slowly over the next few weeks, Aadit would make more and more subtle comments about how he liked her to dress. It was so subtle that neither she nor her friends realized that this was a sign that should have been a red flag.
As they approached Christmas break, Manasi mentioned that she wouldn’t be able to talk much on the phone because they had relatives from India visiting and it would be hard for her to get time alone. While Aadit said he understood, he still called her every day. If she did not answer right away, he would call and text persistently until even Manasi’s brother asked why someone needed to reach her so desperately. She finally took the phone up to her room and answered, “What are you doing? I told you we’d talk after the break!”
“I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you,” Aadit said sweetly.
“Ok well you heard it. I need to go now before my parents suspect anything!” Manasi said with urgency.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” Manasi asked, annoyed. “I’m spending time with my cousins.” He didn’t seem to believe her but she finally got him to hang up.
The next day, the doorbell rang. Vinod opened the door, it was Aadit. Manasi almost fell off her chair when she saw him.
“Hi uncle. My name is Aadit, I’m a friend of Manasi’s from AP Biology class. I just wanted to give her a Christmas present.” Vinod was impressed with Aadit’s politeness and invited him in. Manasi was furious because it was clear he came over to check up on her.
For the next few days, Manasi turned her phone off so that Aadit could not reach her. She needed a break from him and was considering breaking up with him when they returned to school in January. Her best friend also agreed it was the best thing to do.
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