Holding on to resentment and anger in any relationship acts as a ticking time bomb. It is not only hurtful to the relationship’s health, but also to the physical and emotional health of the individuals involved. Recent research in the field of psychology has shown a strong influence of forgiveness in rebuilding a healthy relationship as well as improving your own physical and emotional health.
Forgiving your partner allows you to feel less angry, more optimistic, compassionate and self-confident, all crucial aspects of a healthy relationship. Research done at Stanford University has found that even family members who had lost loved ones due to violence in Northern Ireland felt significantly less stress after being taught how to forgive.
Forgiveness is also associated with a healthy cardiovascular system. Studies have shown that after forgiving a person who has hurt you, individuals showed lower heart rates, lower blood pressure and significantly lowered cortisol levels in their bloodstream.
Other positive health benefits of forgiveness include improved oxygen and nutrient supply to cells and tissues, less headaches, improvement in chronic pain, improved symptoms from arthritis, resolution of digestive problems and a faster recovery from injury. In addition, the immune system strengthens being better able to fight off infections and illnesses and breathing becomes deeper and more regular. By forgiving someone who has hurt you, the body stops producing harmful enzymes that are produced when you are angry. These enzymes increase stress, raise cholesterol levels and blood pressure as well
The ability to feel angry and to forgive are universal experiences. However, the skills to forgive must be taught and often they are not taught well. Studies have shown that to be able to truly forgive, you must be able to truly empathize. Men seem to have a much more difficult time forgiving their partners than women for this exact reason. The more empathy they can have, and the more likely they can imagine themselves as being capable of the same hurtful action that their partner engaged in, the better able they will be to forgive.
If we are looking for a “magic pill” that will cure us and make us healthier, it seems that pill will be called “Forgiveness”. With such significant and powerful influences on the mind and body, this may be another non-traditional but equally effective treatment option for physical ailments. Again, by considering the impact of emotions on our body, we may be able to avoid over-medicating to feel the same results.
According to Dr. Frederic Luskin from the Stanford Forgiveness Project, he believes that forgiveness is trainable. So if you are experiencing any of the abovementioned physical symptoms, you may benefit from learning forgiveness before you are prescribed another medication by the doctor.
Here are two interesting videos by Dr. Luskin on forgiveness:
What is Forgiveness?
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