Avni took a deep breath and took a moment to notice everything around her. She noticed the sound of utensils clanking against the plates. She heard groups of people all around her laughing and talking. She smelled the aromas of tomatoes, basil, vegetables and grilled meats. She still had the taste of the creamy cheesecake in her mouth. For the first time in weeks she felt a little bit lighter, happier and more in control of her life.
Her mother had become concerned about her. Avni had been working incessantly on her graduate school applications, going to her part time job, as well as helping around the house. It did not help that Avni also had been dealing with eczema since she was a young girl and summer times were always the worst for her condition.
The stress of applications, work as well as her chronic health condition had started taking a toll on her. She started noticing more hair loss, decreased appetite and she slept far less soundly. Her mood had changed as well. She was more irritable than normal, snapping at her mother more frequently than she ever had before. Any small change in plans, alteration in expectation or responsibilities at home or work would throw her off. She described it to her friend as feeling as if she was a car running on fumes and being expected to drive 100 more miles.
She was overwhelmed and that resulted in lowered productivity in all areas of her life. She noticed that she was taking that frustration out on herself, which was turning into mild depression. She blamed herself for the problems in her life but could not find a solution to make things easier.
Her mother suggested that she go out with a couple of her cousins to dinner. “I don’t have time,” replied Avni. “Either I’m working on applications or at work all day or if I have time, I’m having a flare up and I don’t feel like being outside,” Avni complained. Her mother understood Avni’s dilemma but she still relentlessly encouraged Avni to take out some time and go out.
“Listen,” her mother said wisely. “There will be no more time as you get older. Time keeps slipping away faster and faster with each passing year. Don’t work on applications tomorrow and go out to dinner. One evening away from this will not make or break your acceptance into graduate school.” Avni knew her mother was right but it was still so hard for her to break out of her rigid routine. She forced herself that night to call her cousins who lived near by and meet at their favorite restaurant the next night.
Sitting in the comfortable chair with her arms resting on the sides of the chair, Avni was thankful for her mother’s constant reminders. Nothing had changed with her situation. She still had 15 more applications to complete in the next 2 months, there were still piles of folders and files on her desk at work and her eczema would still flare up the next time it became too hot or too dry. But forcing herself out of the daily grind, being at the restaurant and having her senses experience a wide variety of sights, sounds and tastes, she felt some stress relief. She knew that when she went back home that night, she would be far more productive on her applications than she had been in the last two weeks combined.
Stress is a self-perpetuating cycle. When we feel overwhelmed by our responsibilities or our emotions, we try to avoid them or become hyperfocused on completing our tasks. Unfortunately, both of these coping strategies result in increasing our stress levels. By avoiding stress, we are not resolving the underlying problem and soon begin to feel anxiety about the stressful situation. On the other extreme, becoming hyperfocused increases stress because it does not allow our brains to rest. Just as our bodies would break down if we tried to exercise 12 hours a day, our brains also require rest and will force a break on us if we do not allow for it ourselves.
As Avni noticed, taking a break does not change your situation but it changes your perspective. By allowing your brain and body to rest, you are more refreshed and much more likely to reach your goals faster than if you had worked straight through. Just as our bodies become exhausted, so can our brains.
It may seem like a step in the wrong direction at the time, but the next time you are stressed, take at least a 10 minute break. Go for a walk, call a friend, exercise or do something entertaining. Whatever you choose, force yourself to get out of your routine for a while and don’t think about your causes of stress during the break. You will be amazed how quickly you feel rejuvenated and ready to get back to your responsibilities.
What do you do during your breaks when you are stressed? Please leave a comment below.