Recently, I was having dinner at a restaurant and I happened to overhear a pretty heated argument between a couple. They seemed to be married and in their early 30s. It went something like this:
Woman: God, I am so tired. This week has been so long.
Man: You should relax more after work then.
Woman: Well, I would but the house is a mess. Before you came home, I picked up all of your clothes, cleaned the breakfast dishes and organized your mail. The house is a disaster. Man: (silence and continues eating)
Woman: (frustrated) Did you hear me? I was cleaning up your mess! You don’t even care how much extra work you make for me! (criticism)
Man: (rolling his eyes) Extra work for you? I work longer hours than you do and then I even made dinner last night! You’re so closed-minded you can’t even see what I do at home too! (contempt)
Woman: (angry) Of course I don’t see it because you don’t do much! And if you actually knew how hard it is to work long hours and then do house work, then you wouldn’t leave your clothes lying around everywhere for me to pick up! (defensiveness)
Man: (sulking, poking at his food and not answering his wife’s comments) (stonewalling)
Woman: Oh and now you’re ignoring me. Great.
Sound a little familiar? Ya, it did to me too.
Everyone who has been in a relationship has fought with their partner at some point. Arguments are a very common and necessary part of a relationship. However, there are specific aspects of arguments that can be very harmful and ultimately damage your relationship. Over the next few articles, I will break down the specific harmful elements of arguments and give you some tips on how to avoid them.
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